Had an irritating conversation with Jon Bailey last week. I've been trying to approach it from the right angle, because I don't believe that there is nothing to be learned from the most frustrating circumstances. However, it's difficult not to just be frustrated and ignore it completely. I just don't understand where he gets off being irritated at me for me own personal struggles. Since when was it his right to get irritated? Since never, that's when. I just don't understand how he could be saying to completely opposing things in one conversation. First he says I'll regret it if i stay here and then he says I should stay here because God said. Sounds to me like he thinks I should stay but I shouldn't stay because I'll regret it so go and disobey God. He doesn't leave me any options! How am I supposed to be helped by a conversation like that? Do anyone understand how truly frustrating this is? God!
On to bigger things...or not...
I'm so excited for Janelle, but while she's my best friend, I often envy her. I live my life surrounded by skinny, in-shape, or generally good-looking people. I'm suffering from a severe relapse of insecurity. Going through one of those how-dare-I-breathe-the-air-and-take-up-space phases. There are things that I will never be able to change about myself, and it drives me crazy. Sometimes I'm embarrassed just to show up in the morning, sure that somebody is noticing how fat I am, or how ugly I am, or how stupid I am. Isn't that dumb? What it is is self-centered. It's all about me. Wow - the whole head is sick.
I need coffee - I need it now and I need it desperately.
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