I had a mental culmination yesterday - an epiphany, as it were. It was good, and yet a "good" backed up by a "you have a lot of work to do yet." At least I'm not having panic attacks anymore. Seriously, it was bad - everytime I thought about my future, it was like my chest got all tight and I couldn't take deep breaths. Talk about too much stress. I guess I was able, in a moment of clarity, step back and see where I first went off the path. I asked myself how it was that I got so far off-course. Somehow the issue had become me, when the issue is not me. And believe me, when the issue is me, things go bad. I open little doors, just a crack, and before I can blink I'm so far off-course that it's like trying to double the Cape Good Hope in a typhoon. I don't want to care that much. I don't mean that in a bad way. Sometimes caring too much is a big problem.
I really need to clean my room.
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