HELP! I CAN'T STOP POSTING!

Seriously, you'd think three posts in one day was enough. Well, I plead insanity, and I plead, um, mercy due to the fact that it is almost tomorrow, and um, I plead the fifth amendment, except that I don't really or else I'd stop talking. Okay, no more pleading. Please!

Man, I hate it when I get too introspective. It happens when I don't have enough to keep me busy. Then my brain goes off the deep end. My subconcious begins to laugh maniacally and say, "MWHAHAHAHA! Now is the time to grab control!" Wow, okay, maybe not. Forgive the anthropomorphic personification of the subconcious.

All that too say that the past couple of days have been filled with self-analysis and wonderings. Which really isn't a bad thing, it's just the way things are. It is almost midnight. I am listening to Keane. I am chatting with Lt. Polk. Okay, so here is what my amazing brain has been thinking... I would very much like to go on a date. Now, those of you who don't really know me personally or the way I've lived (Lord knows if there are even any of those people who read my blog) will think that there is nothing that unusual about wanting to go on a date. But for those of you who do, you'll know what I mean. It's not really about going on a date, it's about just wanting the ability to do that kind of thing. I want to meet some guy and be good friends with him and be really attracted to him and he to me and then I want him to ask me to go out with him. And that's all. What I mean by "that's all" is that I'm not looking for a lightening bolt of relationshipness, I just mean to have some fun. And I don't mean "have some fun" in the sense of going out and living a life of debauchery, I just mean, having a good time. God I hate explaining myself, but I hate it even more when I don't get across exactly what I mean. Anyway, but now I'm galavanting off to Ireland I certainly won't get any dates over there. Goodness, this is so difficult.

Maybe I just want some interesting people to talk to. That's probably why I started conversing with some random guy the other day. I read his blog and he seems nice. He made me laugh. I wish I knew more people like that in person. No offense to all you funny people out there. Maybe it's some desire to be able to start over. The people I know I've known for quite some time. And that's good, because they love me through all the bad things I've done and we have strong bonds. I don't know, maybe it's impossible to explain what I want. Maybe I don't even know. Ha, that's more than likely. The stupid thing is that you can't really be friends with random people on the internet. I mean, I guess you could if they wanted to as well, but usually they just think you're some psycho. Is everyone so satisfied with their lives that they don't feel the need to reach out beyond the borders of their own worlds? Like, I find myself wanting to be friends with everyone. Like the guy who makes my coffee at the bookstore. He seems like a nice guy, but I can't just go around chatting up some guy. I mean, I could, but he'd think I was a psycho. Are we catching the theme here? PSYCHO, PSYCHO. Okay, so I only say that because I would obviously think someone was psycho if they did that to me. Maybe I just need to be more open-minded.

(No real need for a paragraph break here, just doing it to keep you going. Long paragraphs are hard to get through.)

You know, it could be that all this adventure in my life, like as far as moving around so much and travelling, has given me a taste for new and different things, hence a taste for new and different people. Who knows. Just humor me.

And Mr. Random Guy that I talked to the other day on Yahoo!, thanks for talking to me, hope to do it again. I'm really not a psycho... honest.

Desist rambling.