Sunday, August 27, 2006

Reflections from the verge

Yes, perhaps a bit like Anderson Cooper's book "Dispatches from the Edge"... Anyway, I'm leaving this afternoon. In a way, this week has gone by very slowly, and I'm happy for that, because it feels as though I've had more time than just a week here. God, I'll tell you one thing - I will always love this place. I'm sad to leave, yet looking around and thinking what it would be like if I was still here, I can still see the reasons why I left. I guess I just want to have it all, which is never how it works. You have to take the good with the bad most of the time. I want to be able to live my dreams of doing astronomy, yet I also want this connectedness to something bigger. And they are not mutually exclusive, but when you are away from this place, it's very, very easy to lose sight of just what the "bigger" thing is.

I'll tell you one thing though, you start to understand so many of the things we hear about from the pulpit but can never really grasp. Sometimes I have to make myself sit down and reflect on life and important things, because I hate that I can spend so much of my time just thinking about what time I have to leave to get to work and how can I sell more stuff and blah blah blah so mundane and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I miss having the time and energy to focus on something more than that stuff. Reflection is a luxury I used to take for granted. Now it is often one that I can't afford. But then, there's a lot I can't afford right now, namely groceries :)

Anyway, I've had a great time and I hope it isn't too long before I can come back. I mean, I don't know what would next pull me up here, but there's got to be something. If not, I'll just come to visit sometime, and hopefully for longer. But for now, it's back to the grindstone...

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